Please don't do this at home!

An exaggerated ugly side of ham radio QSO. One fine day on a 2m repeater far away,

Stupid newbie: Kohling! Kohling! Enly stesen? Lis is "callsign1" stenby.

Old man: "callsign1" this is "callsign2". Good day! Welcome to the band. Go ahead with your traffic.

Stupid newbie: I doonlow enly trefit, I no ailea, I no driving now, I at home.

Old man: Roger! Roger! QSL that you are at home at this moment. Have you eaten your lunch? Over to you "callsign1" this is "callsign2".

Stupid newbie: Aiya! My lem no Roger la... My lem Mister Ah Huat! I eat morning liao, afternoon no eat. Over!

Old man: OK, sir. Copy your handle loud and clear. You audio is Q5, full quieting. Congratulations to you for getting your license. Please do come on to this repeater frequency as often as you like. Back to you "callsign1" this is "callsign2".

Stupid newbie: No kopi la... I link teh lis morlin and eat pau oso. Over!

Old man: "callsign1" this is "callsign2" returning. OK, I got you, no worries. Thank you for this wonderful QSO and will catch you further down the log. I would like to make this my final round and you have a nice day! "callsign1" this is "callsign2" listening for your final. 73.

Stupid newbie: okeh, lex time tok tok on lehlew again. Dankiu. You gif me 73, I gif you larble, 146. Bai-bai.

Old man: (Luckily I have HF privilege, I think I had better switched over to 40m from now on)